The lighter side of supply chain: 10 more supply chain jokes

Much has changed in the world of supply chain since we published our last batch of supply chain jokes. Supply chain disruptions continue to be the norm. Cognitive computing, IoT and big data are changing the technology landscape. Shifting demographics and supply chain talent questions leave many of us in the field scratching our heads. However, it’s not all depressing. Advances in end-to-end supply chain solutions and customer success stories show it’s a great time to be in supply chain. There are a number of events to look forward to, including the Gartner Executive Supply Chain Conference in May and the Kinaxis user conference, Kinexions in October, that celebrate our many supply chain achievements. As we get ready to take a deep breath after an exciting start to the year, we thought some cheesy supply chain humor would help us relax as we gear up to take on the rest of 2017. So here you go, some more supply chains jokes. We apologize beforehand to all supply, demand and capacity planners, sales, engineers and statistical forecasters. We hope you enjoy!

1. ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing. Except at a funeral or an S&OP meeting.
2. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, cowboys deranged, drycleaners depressed and supply chain managers fulfilled?
3. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you’ll believe them, but if you tell an inventory manager there’s 20 widgets in stock they have to count them?
4. What do you call a capacity planner who’s had too much to drink? They’re overloaded.
5. How do you get a demand planner to say the F word? Get a supply planner to yell the S word (Shortage!)
6. An economic order quantity (EOQ) is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
7. Here’s one for supply chain planners that have had to collaborate with engineers on a new product introduction:
   
   
   A priest, a politician and an engineer were scheduled to be executed during the French Revolution. The priest is brought up to the guillotine and lays down on the table. The executioner pulls the cord and the heavy steel blade descends... then shudders to a stop in the middle of the track. The executioner proclaims, "This is a sign from God, that the life of this priest should be spared!" The priest is set free to the delight of the cheering crowd.
   
   Next, the politician is brought up and laid on the table. The cord is pulled, and the blade again shudders to a halt in the same place. The executioner proclaims "The grace of God is extended even to this politician!" and the crowd goes wild with joy!
   
   The engineer steps up last and says, "You know, if you tighten that bolt, this thing will work."
8. Q: When does a person decide to become a statistical forecaster? A:When they realize they don’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
9. All operation managers are bilingual. They speak English and profanity.
10. Drama: a word supply planners use to describe sales.

Do you have any great supply chain jokes? We’d love to hear them – so share in the comments area below!